Humans are social animals and we live in society. We have a choice: we can choose to live together pleasantly and agreeably, or we can choose to live with constant friction and displeasure. Both choices impact how we feel about ourselves, our lives and the world. Given the choice, why choose friction and conflict, allowing interactions to sap our energy and enjoyment? Why not choose to keep things pleasant and allow the interactions to build us up?

Speaking tactfully and sensitively does not take any more time than speaking roughly. It does require we look beyond ourselves and acknowledge the fact we are all interrelated and need one another. When we cause a problem with someone, we hurt them and ourselves. We may not know how, but we do hurt ourselves.

We must always remember that the higher the stakes in an interaction, the more important it is to choose our words carefully. I recently attended a networking function at which I met Pat. Pat professed to be a communications expert. In the course of the conversation, Pat made a statement that I perceived as highly judgmental and arrogant; it ended the conversation. Based solely on this one experience, I am not inclined to refer Pat to others; Pat lost potential opportunities.
Some cultures habitually engage in arguing or other forms of contentious conversation; if all parties agree to that style that is their choice. We all say dumb things from time to time; unintentional oversights are to be forgiven and put aside. It is the continual use of careless and thoughtless language that causes the problems.

Choose to engage with others in a respectful manner. You will be glad you did.