“It’s a beautiful day!” “No, it’s too hot/cold.”

“I don’t know why they even bother with raises this year. It’s such a joke; we can’t do anything with this paltry amount anyhow – we’ll probably just have to pay it all back in taxes.”

We have all heard negative comments like these. They take the energy out of a conversation in less time than it takes to say, “Gesundheit”.

Some people seem to exude negativity. Regardless of the topic, they can find something wrong with it. I even heard someone complain that her casino winnings were a joke – it was only a couple hundred dollars, not enough to do anything with. (I can think of many good uses for that money!) Being around someone who is always negative saps our energy. We don’t feel good when we are near them. It is not fun or even mildly pleasant. It certainly is not motivating.

Others always seem to be “up”. They see the good in everything, and create it when it seems to be missing. Clearly those who stay positive, who are “up” on life, are more fun to be around and make us feel better. They make us feel better about life. They motivate us. We also get more done.

Many of us find we occasionally slip into negativity. We may be generally happy and positive, but sometimes life gets us down a bit. This is not unusual. It is a problem if we find ourselves going negative too often.

We have a choice: we can wallow in the negative, give up our energy and drive others away, or we can celebrate the good in life and maintain our energy, attract others. We make this decision constantly with the stories we tell ourselves – and others. Clearly, we enjoy life more when we appreciate the good that we can find all around us.

How can we focus on the positive and be the kind of person others want to be with?

1. We can look for the good in every situation. Seldom is a situation so bad there is nothing to celebrate.
2. If it is something we cannot control, we can simply accept it and move on. For example, we cannot control the weather; if it is too hot/cold, so what? Focus on what is in our control and move on.
3. If we find ourselves surrounded by negative people, we can distance ourselves so we don’t have to hear it all the time. We don’t have to let others usurp our energy. Instead, we can surround ourselves with positive people.
4. Watch labels. Instead of saying “this is bad”, say it would “work better for you if …”